Monday, August 30, 2010
" Don't know what's going on
Don't know what went wrong
Feels like a hundred years
I still can't believe you're gone
So, I'll stay up all night
With these bloodshot eyes
While these walls surround me
With the story of our life Are you really gone forever...? " Today, experienced how if feels like to lose your family member. I will forever remember that call from my daddy, telling me that shocking piece of news. I broke down. The pain created upon hearing that piece of news, is really beyond description. It's just excruciating pain, and the repeating thoughts of "Where will my cousin go for his afterlife? Is there really such a place calls the heaven?" If heaven really do exist, I sincerely hopes that my cousin will be happy there. Well. At least he no longer needs to be tortured by the pain caused by cancer cells anymore. And no longer needs to cough through the night, and suffers silently from the many others illnesses that implicated from cancer. Seriously... I don't know how to put whatever I am feeling now into words. I just feel jumbled-up. I am shaken up by the sudden loss of a cousin, and the thought of losing him eternity. A cousin who's fun to be with, and one who had great interest in the area of magic... and one who was giving his all in studies, so as to earn scholarship. One thing I know, the society has just lost one fine man. I am guilty. I am a sinner. Guilt for not visiting him during his hospitalisation days, guilt for not giving him some words of encouragement when he was fighting so bravely and hardly against those irritating cancer cells, which multiplied themselves more and more. Now, I can only live with the little memories that I had once shared with him. Cousin,I have no idea where are you now. Is your soul still with us, your family? If you really are still by our side, please listen to me. I love you. I love you for not giving up in the tough battle of fighting against the cancer cells, love you for even trying to comfort us by saying you will live on when you were present. Cousin, I wonder if you passed away peacefully? If those cancer cells were still inflicting pain in you even at your last took of breath? Do not worry about your family, cousin. My daddy and mummy, along with our uncles and aunts, will offer assistance to them if they need it. Do not worry about your sister. The next time I see her, I will talk to her, and not let her feels bored and left out. Cousin, Rest In Peace. You will always live in my heart. I will always remember you. * my S H A T T E R E D dreams_
6:35 PM
